My Story
Once upon a time, I was a fat kid. I grew up to be a fat adult. Now, I hate the word fat! It does tend to grab people’s attentions though. So, now that I have your attention, here is my story….
When I was about 10, I remember feeling overweight for the first time. I thought of myself as “fat” sometime around the age of 12. I remember shopping with my mother, she would encourage me to get clothes that were too large. That way I could hide the shape of my body. I also remember falling down the front stairs to the school and only thinking that it happened because I was overweight. Mostly I didn’t see other girls that looked like me. I was different and in middle school that is the worse thing that you could be.
That was right before the accident.
My father was driving and I was in the back seat with my lap belt on. We were hit right behind where I was sitting. The car spun wildly. I was pushed into the seat next to me. I herniated 2 discs in my lower back. Then, I went to the doctor. He told me to stop all physical activities: no dance classes, bike riding, roller skating, running, jumping, etc. I was miserable and began to associate physical activity with pain.
As I got older my weight creeped up. By the time I reached high school, I knew that I had to do something. So, I began to exercise regularly and eat less (not better, just less). Things were looking up for me and my health, until I started college and became very depressed and withdrawn. I stopped losing weight and started slowly gaining again.
Another accident or two.
When I was 21, my brother rear ended a truck that had cut us off. All those old fears creeped back up into my life. I was lost. Then, to further screw my body up, I was in a work related incident were I was pushed and twisted my lower back.
I knew that I needed to make some major changes
I started eating a diet of fresh food, completely preservative free. I lost about 20 pounds. I was doing great and was at my lowest weight in my adult life. I felt beautiful and healthy. I also started to gain confidence and really let my personality flourish.
I was feeling great. I was looking great. I got pregnant with my daughter.
My fears of hurting myself were doubled, and I lost the momentum that I had with loosing weight. During the pregnancy I gained 100+ pounds. I was happy to be having a baby, not so happy with reaching over 300 pounds.
After having my beautiful daughter, my weight went up and down for 7 years. I was struggling tremendously. At first, I was in denial about my weight. I had lost a good 40 pounds the first few months of my daughter’s life and thought that the weight would continue to come off.
As a mom, I worked really hard on my body image and accepting myself. I knew that I was a beautiful person, but started sinking into depression. Postpartum depression is very serious and real. I had to climb out of a hole created by depression. This time, I was focused on my daughter. I knew that I had to get through the postpartum depression and not climb further down the rabbit hole.
As my daughter grew up, I taught her to love herself and created a body positive environment in our household. All while struggling myself. I felt huge. My health started slipping: cholesterol, blood pressure, and eventually diabetes. It was around this time that I was diagnosed with Bipolar II and started to treatments for my depression and mood swings.
Failing with diet culture.
Then I discovered Beachbody, and went full throttle into bettering myself and losing weight. The 21 Day Fix was the program and it was great, and taught me a lot about my eating habits. I was feeling great until I hurt my ankle and couldn’t continue exercising. Once the exercising went, so did the good influences the diet had on my food choices.
Shortly after my limited success with The 21 Day Fix, my whole world was turned upside-down. My long term partner and I broke up and the depression started to creep up, again. I fought hard to keep up with a healthy diet. I didn’t succeed. It was hard not having my daughter with me all the time.
The biggest issue that I faced was cooking for myself. Takeout was just more convenient and so much easier. Why cook when there are so many fast food places right down the street? So, I took the “easy” way out and the results were a 20 pound weight gain.
Fast forward a couple years and I found myself living with my parents. Their house is always full of food and snacks. Sugar was readily available and it was hard to say no. I gained another 20 pounds there.
Once I moved out I had goals to take better care of myself. It was hard at first. Then, COVID-19 hit – hard. I lost my job and was stuck in the house. Takeout was the answer, yet again. I gained another 30 pounds while unemployed. I was at my highest weight ever. I was even at a higher weight than when I was pregnant.
Listening to my body (and the doctor).
This was when my Doctor told me that I had to do something drastic. I listened and went to the bariatric clinic. It would take a year of appointments to get to my surgery, but I was ready. It was at this very moment in time that I was diagnosed with Diabetes.
Most insurance companies require 3-6 months to qualify for surgery. Mine took a year. It made things very real for me. As I struggled to lose any weight, I did manage not to continue gaining. That meant a lot to me, but I had a lot to learn and even more to do.
Post-surgery and feeling so good.
Fast forward a year and many (many) doctors appointments and here I am 19 days out from my surgery and losing weight fast. I feel healthier and happier than ever. Join me for my journey on my YouTube channel “My Bariatric Journey” @ https://www.youtube.com/melanieboczarski
My Happiness Coach 